Good gravy.

It’s been a YEAR since I wrote a newsletter to you guys. I know you’ve been hanging on with baited breath, so I’m glad you’re still here.

If this is your first time checking out IDBH, thanks for hanging. Be sure to click the subscribe button below so you’ll never miss a word of my snark.

Here's what's going on in my world:

Baby, it’s (kinda) cold outside

It was 24 degrees when I got up this morning, and I was not pleased about it.

Yes, it’s January, but over the last three years, I’ve been conditioned to expect winter temps that look more like I live in Atlanta instead of DC. So any time the mercury dips below 40, I’m annoyed.

The thing is, I like winter. I think the clothes are WAY better, and I’m always down with curling up under a comfy blanket. My wife Melinda has a thing about throw blankets. She has dozens of them strategically stashed all over the house, like John Wick setting an ambush.

But these occasional cold snaps don’t do anything for me. Stop teasing me, winter. If you’re going to make it cold, cover me in snow.

The Washington Post reported it’s been 718 days since DC has gotten more than an inch of snow. At that point, my son wasn’t yet 2, Russia hadn’t invaded Ukraine, and I didn’t have to see Taylor Swift every time I watched a football game. It was a simpler time.

This week, there were meteorological rumblings that the east coast would get its first large winter storm in years. Growing up we’d call these “Nor’easters,” and they’d dump as much as three feet of snow on the Delaware Valley, ensuring we’d be out of school for days at a time.

Early forecasts were optimistic but vague and looked something like this:

Silly me for getting excited, because it looks like now my Saturday is going to be cold and rainy with just a hint of snow.

Do I want to build a snowman? Fuck yes I do. But instead, it looks like I’ll just get some wet feet and huddle under a John Wick blanket. Cool.

New Year, same Sam

I love the idea of New Year’s Resolutions, but let’s be honest: They’re all bullshit.

This article from behavioral designer Nir Eyal explains the psychology behind why our New Year’s Resolutions die on the vine.

Elder Emo

I swear to Christ I’m going to commit a felony if I have to watch one more Instagram reel that starts with "We’re [XYZ]…” The first video I saw using this template was someone saying “We’re from South Philly. Of COURSE we’ve puked on Two Street.”

I thought it was funny at first, but it didn’t take long for the internet to pile drive it into the goddamn ground like Bret Hart.

One such video was titled “We’re Elder Emos.” To be honest, it wasn’t very clever, but it DID remind me that holy fuck, it’s 2024, and a whole new round of albums are about to celebrate their 20th anniversary.

Ready to feel old? Here’s a few amazing albums that came out in 2004:

• Green Day - American Idiot

• My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

• Say Anything - …Is a Real Boy

• Taking Back Sunday - Where You Want To Be

• Jimmy Eat World - Futures

• The Killers - Hot Fuss

• The Used - In Love and Death

• Kanye West - The College Dropout

• Midtown - Forget What You Know

• Bayside - Sirens and Condolences

• The Arcade Fire - Funeral

• Descendents - Cool to Be You

• Rise Against - Siren Song of the Counter Culture

• Leftover Crack - Fuck World Trade

• New Found Glory - Catalyst

• Phantom Planet - S/T

• Fall Out Boy - My Heart Will Always Be the B-Side to my Tongue

• Sugarcult - Palm Trees and Power Lines

• Iron & Wine - Our Endless Numbered Days

• Less Than Jake - B is for B-Sides

• Big D and the Kids Table - How it Goes

• With Honor - Heart Means Everything

• Brian Wilson - Smile

• Modest Mouse - Good News for People Who Love Bad News

• Audio Karate - Lady Melody

• Good Charlotte - The Chronicles of Life and Death

• HONORABLE MENTION: Ashlee Simpson - Autobiography

My Favorite Things

Watch: Rome (HBO)

Okay, yeah, this 2-season HBO show is almost 20 years old, and I definitely stumbled across it while mindlessly scrolling one day. But I’m hooked.

I love a good historical drama, and you can clearly see the underpinnings of what shows like Game of Thrones would be like in the future. Plus, there are gratuitous boobs guaranteed in every episode. I mean, in this one episode I just watched, they started a scene with a topless girl washing her hands. For no reason! Then they just panned away from her and the other characters started talking about something. Oh how I long for the days of unnecessary nudity.

Read: None of This Rocks by Joe Trohman

Speaking of Elder Emos…

Jeffrey Bezos, you must be listening to me on my Alexa 24/7, because when you served this up on my Amazon app as a suggested title, I smashed that BUY NOW button with reckless abandon.

The Dirt this is not, but since I saw Fall Out Boy 23 times between 2003 and 2004 (a statistic I was once proud of but now feels kind of obsessive and sad), I was super interested in FOB co-founder Joe Trohman’s take on the early days of the band I loved.

He does a pretty good job of being candid about his addiction and struggles with fame vs. creativity, though I could tell that he either held back at many points or he had a dozen lawyers redacting anecdotes with a big, fat Sharpie.

Broad Street Briefs

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

This football season has been one of the most frustrating that I can remember. That says a lot, considering I’ve lived through the Chip Kelly era and a year when a dude named Bubby Brister was our starting quarterback.

Each week, I sit in front of the TV wanting a nice game. An easy game. A game where I can feel like the Eagles are in control.

I haven’t gotten it. Not once.

Yes, I know they’re 11-5. Yes I would’ve killed for 11-5 when I was watching Rich Kotite run this team into the ground in 1993. But every week, my brain looks like this:

Or, in the case of last Sunday against the THREE FUCKING WIN ARIZONA CARDINALS, the “nice we won” is replaced with an existential dread.

I don’t know what’s happening. My feelings are perfectly summed up by this clip:

All is not lost, of course, but I’m not very optimistic about the Birds playoff run. At the least, I’ll have to stomach two more dreadful games before they put me out of my misery.

At least the Flyers are doing well?

Obligatory Kid Pic

Thanks for reading. If you haven’t already, subscribe so you can read this hot garbage right in your inbox.

All 3 of my books are available for order on Amazon. Check them out here!

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @samhedenberg for daily hilarity and baby pictures.

And for god's sake, tell your friends to subscribe!