Well hey there!

I hope your Thanksgiving was great and you had a chance to bond with your closest friends and family members over politics, religion, and money.

As is the holiday tradition, my family's been battling non-Covid-related illnesses the last week, so that's been awesome. But we did manage to get our Christmas tree up yesterday, and it's looking fantastic...after I spent two hours on the floor untangling these goddamn strings of silver balls.

I don't understand. I put these things away SO NICELY every year. Why do they always end up a knotted mess? Are mice up in the attic plotting against me?

I've got some great stuff for you on tap this week. Let's take a look, but before you do, make sure to subscribe by clicking on the button below!

Here's what's going on:

From The Blog - Murder Most Foul 

My wife is a wonderful cook, but every once in awhile, she makes something that almost kills me.

She's also insisted I qualify this with the fact that every time she's almost killed me with food, it's been an accident. So I'll leave that disclaimer here, lest tonight's linguini be laced with arsenic. 

Read MURDER MOST FOUL here.

RIP Kirstie Alley 

We've lost some notable personalities this year, but for some reason, Kirstie Alley's death this week hit me especially hard. It's probably because next to Kelly McGillis taking my breath away in Top Gun, Alley was one of the first to spur on my sexual awakening as a kid with her role in Look Who's Talking. You never forget the first time you see the inside of someone's fallopian tubes full of talking sperm, know what I mean?

PS - When I was a freshman in college, I saw Kelly McGillis play Lady MacBeth at a show in DC, and when she took her top off, I giggled for 10 minutes straight.

Social Media Ad of the Week - Elf Kits

We're nearing the decade mark with these fucking elves now. It's my fault. Just as we were heading into the final turn, my dumb ass decided to have another kid.

So here it is, another year of pulling myself out of semi-consciousness at 11:30 to go downstairs and move these goddamn things. If only there was an easier way.

Maybe there is, thanks to the wonderful people at Jack and Luna. They've created a "no stress" Elf Kit, which includes a set of accessories and, more importantly, a calendar that tells you exactly what to do with these things every night.

Normally I talk shit on my Instagram ads, but this is genius.

My Favorite Things

Watch - Tulsa King: I was a little dubious of this show when I saw the previews, but YO, it is GOOD. The story of a washed-up mobster who's exiled to Oklahoma, Tulsa King sits at the intersection of so many things I love: Taylor Sheridan shows, mob stories, and of course, my dude Sly. It's even got a nice bit part from Martin Starr, whom I've loved since Freaks And Geeks.

Listen - Connor Price: Ok yeah, I broke the glass on Mariah this week, and I've been spinning lots of Christmas tunes, but I also want to talk about Connor Price, a rapper I'm embarrassed to say I discovered on Instagram. He's got a bunch of strikes against him—former child actor, entitled white social media influencer, Canadian. But it's undeniable: Dude GOES. Check out Spinnin, Straight A's, and Chatter to see what I mean. 

Sam Eats Spicy Snacks - Cheetos Flamin' Hot Mac N Cheese

If you've followed my spicy snack journey, you know Cheetos Flamin' Hot is the gold standard. They've managed to inject heat into junk food in a way that's both approachable and dangerous. And their electric orange food coloring ensures both your fingers and insides will forever be tattooed with their delicious memory.

The mac itself tastes a little like Play Doh, but the heat more than makes up for it. I ate this entire box in one sitting because I am a disgusting human being with no impulse control.

8/10

Have a suggestion for a spicy snack? Hit me up!

Broad Street Briefs

After a dominant performance over the Titans last Sunday, the Birds are 11-1 and finally at the top of all the power rankings. Hurts looks like a sniper and is in the MVP conversation. About time we got some fuckin' respect.

The Phils signed shortstop Trea Turner this week, solidifying the leadoff spot in the batting order and getting the team that much closer to becoming the 2018 Washington Nationals. Here's a sick first look at Turner in a Phillies jersey, courtesy of SS Bryson Stott:

Also, it must be a Christmas miracle, because I somehow limped into my fantasy football league's playoffs with an abysmal 6-7 record. Things don't look great for me, considering Lamar Jackson isn't going to be getting off the couch anytime soon. But when it comes to playoff success, there's only one solution:

Obligatory Kid Pic

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