Yo cuz!

A fair warning for all: This is going to be a sports-heavy issue. If sportsball isn't your thing or you just hope both teams have fun, you're not hurting my feelings—I'll catch you next time.

That said, Philly sports are entertaining for WAY more than just the game, so you might want to stick around.

I've tried writing other stuff for the last couple of weeks, but nothing has captured my attention the way football and baseball have. It probably has to do with the fact that I've fully leaned into my suburban-dad-with-two-jobs persona, and the only thing that gives me a glimmer of joy is watching a bunch of millionaires play with a toy ball for four hours on television.

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Here's what I've got going on:

From The Blog 

Being a Philly sports fan certainly has its ups and downs. Not only have I dealt with decades of heartbreak, but I also have to listen to every shit-talking Washington fan tell me my teams suck.

Here's how I navigated that the past couple of weeks.

Read FOR THE BIRDS here

From The Prompt

I've written a few essays about my time as a teacher over the years, and they always seem to resonate well with readers. Probably because teachers LOVE to bitch about being teachers.

This piece, published in The Prompt, tells the tale of my second year of teaching, where I was called to sit on The Bad Kids' Bench and await an unknown punishment from an administrator I hadn't yet met.

Read I'M SORRY: THE BAD KIDS' BENCH here.

From The Headlines

Don't you hate when that happens? If I had a nickel for every time a stiff breeze blew a gram of cocaine into my backpack, I'd be rich enough to not have to sell drugs.

My Favorite Things

Listen: Ok, the obvious entry here is the Taylor Swift album that came out last week, but if I'm being honest, I've only listened to the first three tracks. I've been SO distracted by this Phillies Cinderella story that it's even affecting my musical tastes.

One of the best part about championship runs is that teams start to bond around songs. They begin as a locker room playlist and evolve into these anthems that take the city by storm.

When the Phils made their '93 World Series run, their anthem was "Whoomp! (There it is)" by rap duo Tag Team. The Eagles Super Bowl season was punctuated by Meek Mill's "Dreams and Nightmares," which has so many N-words in it that white dudes could only sing along half of the time.

This year, the Phillies chose an unlikely track: a remix of Calum Scott's "Dancing On My Own." I really don't get this AT ALL. It's about a dude whose ex has a new guy, and he creepily watches them make out and feels sorry for himself.

But that hasn't stopped Philly fans from fully embracing this—myself included.I guess it could be worse. I could be a Padres fan, whose playoff anthem was performed by these fucking dorks:

Sam Eats Spicy Snacks

I was sick yesterday and went to the store to get some chicken soup for lunch. I found the new Campbell's Spicy Chicken Noodle and gave it a whirl.

It's not overly spicy, but has just enough kick to keep me coming back. Perfect for a cold day curled up on the couch or cauterizing your raw throat and sinuses. 8/10

Have a suggestion for a spicy snack? Hit me up!

Broad Street Briefs

Ok, I'm sure you get it by now. The Phillies are in the freaking World Series, and I am STOKED. So instead of pontificating about it, here are my last two weeks in photos:

Obligatory Kid Pic

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